In friendship we trust, but who promised us that they will be lifelong or that they will start early in life.
Changes in life at least for me come in big waves every decade – at least it has been like this for the main part of my adult life and they last at the minimum a couple of years, before the withdraw like the tides.
The last couple of years has been one of these waves and maybe more like a tsunami throwing both my private and professional life around – I had to get help first from a psychiatrist and lately I have tried to talk to an astrologer, I haven’t before trusted the ability of the stars, but I am quite impressed. It is very simple – l sent a text and get a message back with a date for a phone meeting.
She always knows, how I feel and what I need to clear my from my chest. It is quite liberating to have a conversation with someone who has no share in your life, but can guide you through your options. The first time I talked with her, she was very specific on what would happen and what possibilities I had.
The 2. January I spoke to her again. This time she was more wake, but told me that since December I had a lot on my mind and like an onion I would peel of a layers and it would last at least unto the start of March. Not the greatest news to get, when you just what to move on.
And this brings me back to friendships, when looking at our world today with all the different and easy ways we can link up with people we meet – the medias are endless and time-consuming.
So are we friends with all of them or are their different levels of friendships. I believe that the word is misused and at least for me covering to large a group of people. So I tried staring with my Facebook friends, whom in numbers counts close to thousand gathered over the last decade or so. It was impossible at least with the time that I had put aside that day.
So I had put them into groups in my head, it is not to categories them – more to understand myself and why it is so easy to stay in the role that I as a person have taken and why it is so changeling to change.
I have very few close friends, but those I have I will trust with my life and they are willing to do everything for me and I for them. The strangest thing is also that I realised that one of the persons I share many of my thoughts with is an old colleague I have known him for more than twenty-five years, we have never been at each other’s homes, never at a private party or anything that you will do with a friend – but I can tell him everything and get his view on it without being judged and I believe it goes both ways. I meet two ladies in recent years were we are building the same kind of understanding – for me it feels like someone is watching over you, that cares for you from at distance.
Then there is this large group of people from the industry, some years ago I meet a American guy and after a couple of conversations he said to me “you know everybody” and I invented a new group of friends the “Fashion Friends” in short FF’s – you meet, you work together, you’re share private and professional moments – but with this group you can be in for a tough awaking if you don’t follow your intuition. Some of them will turn out to be friends, but a large part of them will evaporate when you don’t have anything professional to offer. So I made a rule, at industry fusions I leave before the party is full blown. To be honest this group can also bring the greatest surprises and provide you with true friends.
Then there a this very small group, that I had the longest discussion about “from lovers to friends and from friends to lovers” is it at all possible. Many will say no, but I try to prove them wrong. These people are the ones that knows you the best and it is amazing when you can keep them in your life either way.
I try to remember everyday that as with most other things in life, friendship is a partnership. You give and receive, if that is of balance – review and be aware, never lose you self and stay true.